'Racism Does not exist' If this is a statement you've ever found yourself saying my biased advice is either open your eyes OR invite us all into the Utopian world in which you live, because racism is more than in existence its rampant in our world and, unfortunately though, ignorance is a hell of a thing.
last night i had one of the most painstakingly confusing discussions with my landlord. It began with me taking my hair out in my room...
Just got my hair done and was feeling quite excited that I finally got a bajan hairstyle, but it was a tad bit too tight and my throbbing scalp refused to accept my attempt at hairstyle conformity. So neglectfully i sat myself down in front the mirror and my nearly 5 hour old up-doo became a 2 hour racism-Christianity-and-the-roots-of-oppression-down-doo.
The conversation began when my landlord walked towards my room and stopped at my door to ask "do you wash that thing?",referring to my hair, then asked "when are you planning on taking that out?". I looked at her waiting for a laugh or some sign to show the obvious humor in her question only to meet a face that truly begged the answer to a question. I must admit, with us both living on a Caribbean island (with such a prminant amount of woman and men with dreadlocks) i, ignoratly, thought their would be a more intimate understanding of the myths behind the hairstyle. I wasn't offended though and simply explained to her that i just came back from the salon and I wash my hair as frequent as need be. It turns out she hadn't realized that i had dreads, in fact she assumed my hair was false and was simply braids that I intended on removing. So, i kindly enlightened her by letting her know that my hair is permanently locked and intertwined in slender spirals of my natural hair (lol). She wasn't impressed, and when i asked her if she had a problem with dreadlocks her response was classic, "I'm a child of God". ---Its a shame I couldn't freeze that moment, step out of my body, and turn around to see the 'Peoples Eyebrow' (momentarily perfected) on my face. The conversation continued with comments that seemed to have no degree of thought and consideration behind them at all, "all rasta men are drug men", "I don't hate dreadlocks, I just don't like looking dirty", "I am not racist, I have some negro friends", "Yours looks ok now but maybe in a couple of years it will get nasty looking too" and my favorite"Your mother has dreadlocks? Well..(looks around and taps her fingers on my desk) I thought she was a Christian".
STOP. PAUSE. REFLECT. OK so lets pretend you are in this situation as me. Do you
a) Get angry
b) Get ignorant right back in her a**
c) Remember you are on an internship representing your country and consider having an intelligent dialogue with her on the roots to her views while sharing why yours differs
I choose B. Kidding, kidding Larissa lol. I picked C and though it was a tough conversation to stay calm in, I managed to do so and it really got me into some deep thinking around this issue and its overlapping topics.
I'm still really mulling over this experience so i dont have anything all that enlightening to share right now but I'd really like to hear what you all think about this issue and I'd like to add that because of this issue along with other issues I have had to move from that residence.
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4 comments:
I admire your poise and good grace. I don't know if I would have been able to converse with this person on the topic. Unfortunately, for me, ignorance often leaves me speechless because I know that people who express such obviously offensive statments don't have the capability to adapt and change their ideas. They feel that it is appropriate for them to voice ideas because it is their ideas and deep down they don't care about the imapct their words will have and the truth is, even if they recognize the fact that they go too far they will never back down because their cognitive skills are low and their social skills are even lower.
I can't engage with such people but I am proud of the way you handled it. I might have been tempted to choose B though I hope not.
When you leave let that lady know that the dirt and disgust that she finds in others is really a projection of her own true self because there are many beautiful people in the world and true beauty has notthing to do with a hairstyle, clothing or physical features it comes from a heart that can love and appreciate all of God's creations and her church has failed her if she doesn't understand this.
Of course, I am biased and may be influenced by my locked hair that I just shampooed with some beautiful smelling and expensive jasmine shampoo. It has that effect on me and makes me feel beautiful. Maybe I will send your landlord some.
By the way, what does she mean by saying that some of her friends are negro? How do you live on a Caribbean island and stay happy if you are busy tallying up your friends racial origin. She needs to move north to make that work.
Anique I wrote that this posting was anonymous because I don't know what I am doing.
Anique your landlord is stuck in the slavetrip timetunnel poor woman or then again i just thin the woman plain crazy. On the serious side Christ must be mad as hell about these idiots that c`all themselves after his name.
Hi Anique!
I am sorry to hear that you had to deal with that...and I am sure that your hair looks absolutely beautiful.
I think that you definitely chose the right approach to dealing with that woman...even if she does not agree with you, at least now she will have heard an alternative opinion and will hopefully keep it in mind. I am so proud of you...you will be a great Don with that approach, haha. How did she respond to your response?
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